Re-Entering the Dating Scene
Now that you know you have genital herpes, you're out of the dating game, right? Absolutely not. There's no reason to stop looking for love and fun.
Genital herpes doesn't detract from your many desirable qualities, which have drawn people to you in the past and will continue to make you a great catch.
Broaching the Topic of Genital Herpes
The first date after your diagnosis may seem a little strange, however. If you hope to be sexually intimate with your date at some point, you may feel like you're keeping a nasty secret. If you are one to be candid with people, you'll want to blurt it out. Don't. There are some things you should reveal about yourself right away -- for example, that you're married, or that you're just in town for the week -- but some things are better left for the appropriate moment.
It's up to you to decide the right time to tell your date that you have genital herpes. Follow two rules: First, don't wait until after having sex. Second, don't wait until you're just about to have sex -- in which case the attraction may be too strong for either of you to think rationally and act responsibly.
If in the past you tended to start a new relationship with sex, you now might want to change your approach. It might be better to break the news about your herpes to someone who has already grown attached to you. Kissing, cuddling, and fondling are safe, so you don't have to tell before you do that. But use your best judgment as to how physically intimate you want to get before telling. One thing could lead to another, and you might find yourself in an awkward situation.
Dealing With Rejection
Anyone who dates should be prepared for rejection. The person you're seeing may beat a hasty retreat when he or she finds out about your genital herpes. If you get the "I just want to be friends" talk after telling your sweetheart you have herpes, consider this: He or she may have already been looking for a way out, and herpes was as good an excuse as any. What's more, anyone who disdains you or humiliates you for having herpes was never worth your while.
Keep dating, and you will find someone who wants to be with you regardless of your herpes status. There are certainly some who wouldn't mind keeping the intimacy level just short of doing things that could transmit the virus. And of those people, it's likely that at least one will come around, and say, "Hey, I understand there's a risk, but I'm crazy about you, so I'm willing to take it."
Depending on your dating style, you might look for another person who knows he or she has herpes, if only to avoid having to discuss it. If you already use dating services or personal ads, you can also use any of those specifically for people with genital herpes. A search on the Internet for "herpes dating" will turn up several.
Nicole
http://www.STDromance.com Is a STD dating site for people with herpes, HIV, HPV and other STDS.
Gunther von Hagens’ BODY WORLDS exhibition provokes intrigue and questions about the scientific, cultural, and ethical aspects of anatomy and the preservation of human specimens, particularly in a public display.
Please join University of Minnesota experts for a FREE community forum series.
The Body on Display: Controversies and Conversations
Wednesday, June 28
Anatomy: Why We Dissect
Ken Roberts, Program in Human Anatomy Education, John Eyler, Program in the History of Medicine, and Dave Lee, Anatomy Bequest Program
Thursday, July 6
Boundaries and Bodies: Cultural and Religious Perspectives
Mary Faith Marshall, Center for Medical Humanities
Wednesday, July 12
Anatomy as Art, Art as Anatomy
Lyndel King, Weisman Art Museum, and John Eyler, Program in the History of Medicine
Wednesday, July 19
Stiff Morality: The Ethics of Using Bodies
Jeff Kahn, Center for Bioethics, will lead a panel discussion
Admission is free, but space is limited. Reservations for each session required.
To register, visit the University of Minnesota’s Academic Heath Center web page for the forums.
Location: Weisman Art Museum
333 East River Parkway, on the University of Minnesota campus.
7 - 8:30 p.m.
Light refreshments beginning at 6:30 p.m.
Parking is available for an hourly rate in the museum’s garage.
Questions? Call (612) 624-5100.
Sponsored by the Academic Health Center, Weisman Art Museum, Center for Bioethics, and the Center for Medical Humanities at the University of Minnesota.
Delve into BODY WORLDS through the lenses of religion, art, and medicine. Experience the human drama of BODY WORLDS. The Science Museum of Minnesota presents three community forums on topics germane to this internationally acclaimed exhibition. Moderated by Science Museum of Minnesota President, Dr. Eric Jolly.
Religious Views of the Human Body and Soul In and After Death
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
7:00 - 9:00 p.m.
Moderated by Science Museum of Minnesota President, Dr. Eric Jolly
As science advances, we know more about our bodies and how they work, but there are still questions for most of us about what happens in death and how to treat the dead. Religions offer their own perspectives on whether there is a soul and how it is related to the physical body. Is the soul part of the body or separate; can it be diminished when we remove a limb or an organ? Religious leaders and theologians will help us contemplate and compare the variety of religious belief systems about the body and soul and how BODY WORLDS fit into these schema.
Speakers:
Rabbi Marcia Zimmerman, Senior Rabbi, Temple Israel; Paul Wojda, Ph.D., University of St. Thomas; Brother Owais Bayunus, Islamic Center of Minnesota
Stories Behind Organ and Body Donation
FREE
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
7:00 - 9:00 p.m.
When you get your driver's license, you have the option to become an organ donor. What's the difference between organ or tissue donation and whole body donation? What really happens to bodies donated to science? The BODY WORLDS exhibition raises the community's awareness about body donation. Organ donors, donors' families, and recipients will share their experiences of receiving donated organs and the personal meaning of donating one's body for science. Guests will be required to reserve a complimentary ticket in advance.
Speakers:
David Lee, Director, Anatomy Bequest Program, Medical School, University of Minnesota; Dr. Frazier Eales, Life Source
Human Body in Art: In the Anatomy Theater/Wrestling with the Real
Tuesday, June 6, 2006
7:00 - 9:00 p.m.
Moderated by Science Museum of Minnesota President, Dr. Eric Jolly
Much of the consternation about the touring exhibition, BODY WORLDS, hinges on the "realness" of the bodies on display. This talk will focus on the use of the actual body by artists since the 1940s, highlighting various artistic strategies and the possible cultural meanings of such use of the body. We will examine both the artists' intentions and the responses of the viewing public who in the end are forced to wrestle with the often disturbing reality of the re-contextualized human body.
Speakers:
Michael Gaudio, Ph.D., Assistant Professor of Art History, University of Minnesota; Diane Mullin, Ph.D., Associate Curator, Weisman Art Museum

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