Christopher Columbus: He discovered a painful, burning sensation.
Courtesy Wikimedia CommonsDoes everyone remember Christopher Columbus?

There was a day when this question never need have been asked; everyone knew who the mighty Columbus was, and spent the beginning of every October making little construction paper ships, and bicorn cats, and all sorts of crazy junk in his honor. Children left and right were being named “Nina,” “Maria,” and sometimes “Pinta,” and there was never any doubt as to just who invented America.

Then, seemingly out of the blue, some began to point out that millions of people had lived in the Americas for thousands and thousands of years before Columbus arrived, and that he probably wasn’t even the first European to show up on North America. And because of these ridiculous little bits of trivia, great Columbus has fallen from his place of honor.

Just this week, though, it looks like Columbus may once again receive the sort of recognition he deserves. Thanks to the hard work of a group of evolutionary biologists, it now looks like old C.C. may be responsible for… wait for it… bringing back syphilis from the New Wolrd, and its ultimate introduction to Europe, Asia, and Africa!

Hooray for Columbus! Let’s see them try to take that away from you!

Syphilis, of course, is a curable – but nasty – sexually transmitted disease. Its symptoms range from lesions and chancres, to serious mental illness (depending on the stage of infection). Syphilis is generally curable by ordinary antibiotics, although historically people have used mercury, arsenic-containing drugs, and, for late stage syphilis, malaria. Malaria, oddly enough, was a somewhat effective treatment, as it caused prolonged high fevers, which, in turn, could cure the syphilis. But then you were stuck with the malaria.

The origins of syphilis have long been disputed. Some argue that it was present in the Old World long before Columbus’ journeys, pointing out that written descriptions of the disease date back to the ancient Greeks. Syphilis’ most popular nickname (but probably not its funniest), however, is “the great imitator,” because of the frequency with which is was confused with other diseases, leading some to believe that these ancient accounts may be describing entirely different infections.

Playing Disease Detectives on a scale spanning centuries and continents, scientists now think they can pinpoint syphilis’ true roots: a South American bacteria that appears to be syphilis’ closest genetic relative. The bacteria, which causes the disease yaws seems to be a sort of “cousin” to syphilis, and the genetic similarities make it very unlikely that syphilis or its progenitor came from anywhere but the Americas. When this information is combined with the fact that the first large, well-documented European outbreak of syphilis occurred in Naples in 1495, just after Columbus and his crews returned to Europe… Well, it doesn’t look great for Christopher.

Or maybe it does, depending on how attached you are to his legacy. I am quite attached, and from now on, on October 12, I will be celebrating the Father of Syphilis. I just need to figure out what sort of craft projects would go with that.

If you’re interested in learning about how we figure out where diseases come from on a more personal scale (how we catch them, how we figure out what they are, etc), check out the brand new Disease Detectives exhibit in the Human Body Gallery at the SMM.

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